…and all points in between

The tipping point, the breaking point…you know all those clichés we’ve come to use when we’ve come to our wit’s end. I was thinking about that last night after I remembered one more injustice of the last few months. I was having an innocent conversation when I remembered for the first time since April that he (the ex) has thrown away my coats. I searched my mind trying to remember if they were anywhere in the boxes, bags and suitcases my life is now stuffed in and I know they aren’t. I’ll look. I won’t find them. Here it is September in Ohio with winter rapidly approaching and I don’t have a jacket let alone a coat that is going to get me through the winter. I don’t have to say how cold it gets here.

I know you’re saying “Athena, why don’t you just buy a new coat?” That’s the simple thing right? Well it is, but that requires me rearranging my budget yet again and when I say budget I mean budget to the point I don’t drive my car unless it’s to work and back. Additionally, it’s just the principle of the thing you know? He would treat the average person on the street better than that. He, in all his righteousness and martyrdom, has taken it upon himself to throw away something any human being needs. He didn’t pay for them; he didn’t pay for the majority of things he decided to toss away. It was mine. It was given to me, I bought it while I lived there or I had it before I came. For the longest time I felt like I was paying for my wrongs, but I realized something. I’ve done that. I’ve let myself think its ok for someone to be purposefully mean and cruel to me. No more.

I’ll never get my things back. My coats, my couch, all the little bits and pieces of my life I couldn’t pack up in the small window of time he “allowed” me. I couldn’t and would not pay the money he wanted for storage and for the things he felt were also his. I’ve pined over the things he’s more than likely told his friends and family about me. I’ve worried if I’ll ever right my world again. I will. It’s coming, albeit a lot slower than I would want, but it is.

So I’ll figure out how to get a new coat (there’s one I have my eye on anyway), but again it’s the principle. For all of the loud talking and posturing of the last few months to make certain individuals feel like the victims, the ones who were wronged they forget how much wrong they’ve done in the face of being right.