Stairsteps

That’s what I’m doing, climbing the heights of my dreams bit by bit. As of tomorrow night I will be teaching for another college here in New Jersey.  The only thing that could make this even better (besides more money) is if I get the diversity faculty fellowship I applied for. 

*happy dance*

I have an interview Monday to teach another English Composition course at another local college here in Jersey. If all goes well I will be teaching there starting Tuesday night. I’m very excited. Two colleges in two months? *does happy dance* Cross your fingers for me y’all.

*smile*

My little sister just called me to say she got into college! I am so proud of her. She has worked very hard on her art and she is very good at it and I’m glad she is going to be able to follow the path she wants to.

She’s going to be going here starting in the fall:

http://www.saacollege.com/

I’m in repair…I’m not together, but I’m getting there-John Mayer

I’ve been neglecting this blog again. I’m quite sure I can come up with at least one really good reason why I’ve been away and that’s teaching at the college, but I know I can make time if I really want to.

I guess it boils down to me not having a lot to write about. I don’t know. I have these great moments of relief, where I feel things have finally started settling down and at last the life I want is catching up with the efforts I’ve put in over the years, but I’ll be completely honest and say I haven’t been sleeping much, I’m still worried about a lot and maybe it’s because I’m so used to being stressed and on edge that I don’t really know how to come down, but I think it’s more than that as well. I don’t want to get settled again and then feel like I’ve been bowled over without warning. I guess that’s one of the pitfalls of the last year. I’ve learned to second guess myself more than a little bit and I think it’s going to take a lot to repair that.

For as much as muster I am hoping that my self declaration that 2008 is my year comes true. I have to be optimistic. I have to think of the things I’ve accomplished in the last two months and realize that I’ve made more leaps and bounds towards the end product life I want than I ever have in my adult life. So I need to recognize the good and stop worrying that things aren’t happening as fast as I would like them to. It took all these years for things to build to this point, so what makes me think the pay off will come any faster than the development. So I’m going to let John keep on singing and convince myself that everything will be alright.