Timeline #1

In an effort to help me remember why I write I’ve going to try to recount some of the pivotal moments along the way.

When I was in the 7th grade I had Mrs. Brophy for English at State Street Middle School in Alliance, Ohio. For one nine week grading period we had a student teacher who taught us the foundation of poetry. I wish I could remember her name or any sliver of who she was, but I can’t. What I do remember is how big of an influence she was on me.

 

For nine weeks I got to feel like I finally knew what I was good at. I’d been writing short stories for two years. Most of the stories I wrote between 5th grade and graduation are still in a small travelling suitcase in my childhood bedroom closet. This was different. I was able to take all of those lonely feelings  I had being a chubby, quiet, “white” speaking girl who was never going to be popular and channel them into poetry. I wrote a 47 part series called The Outcast about that very subject. I wrote quatrains and cinquains and rhyming poems (the only ones I’d written then and the last as well). I loved getting my weekly poems back with 5/5 and ‘great job’ written on them. I still have one of the last papers she handed back that year. She wrote that I reminded her of Emily Dickenson.

 

Now at the time I had barely had any exposure of poetry other than an Essence collection of black poetry I’d read (I’m pretty sure it had a kente cloth hardcover). So to be compared to some long dead white poet took me aback, but once I learned what her comment meant, I ran with it. From that moment on fiction took a backseat to poetry and my path was set.

New Publication

http://www.seastories.org/hibernal09/entries/dixon.html

http://www.blossombones.com/winter09/dixon_w09.html

Check out my review…

I reviewed a collection of poems for the current issue of Mosaic.  Unfortunately you will have to buy an issue to read it. *happy dance*

http://mosaicmagazine.org/issues.html

Quick Update

It’s been a minute since I’ve updated either of my blogs so…

I was offered classes this semester at four schools. Originally I was going to try to teach at all of them, but I narrowed it down to the school closest to home and a university. That’s right. A university So I’m teaching 5 days a week now starting at 8:00 am *yawn*

Other than that not much else has been going on. I’m trying to work on planning a trip or a very nice gift for myself for my 30th birthday, but it’s not going well so far. We’ll see how it all pans out.

Back in the Saddle

Look for my poem “Calling Jesus” in the Winter 2009 issue of blossombones this January *happy dance*

www.blossombones.com

When That Frequency Dies…

As I was trying to lull myself to sleep tonight (and clearly I’ve lost as it is now 1:25 am), I think I’ve finally come across a theory that could explain my nearly 7 month writing drought. It’s no new revelation truth be told, but everyone must come to their own conclusion in their own time.

I’ve spent the last few weeks (months if I tell you honestly) chasing “stabilty”, benefits and a big girl’s paycheck. I’ve spent the last few days in a job hunting frenzy because as August approaches, so does the semester soon. That’s not to say I’ve lost my desire to remain Professor Athena, but the road to that title officially is still full of many more adjunct positions. As a part-time job it’s pretty good, but unless you are a road warrior at multiple schools (which I will be this fall if I teach) that’s all it is. It’s a stepping stone and I’m ready to step up.

I rolled around in bed, my mind mulling over my accident from Friday and wondering what happens if the other party does not hold up to his agreement to pay for the damages, and it came to me. This frenzy, if it pays off how I am hoping it to, will end in death. Of course I don’t mean the end of my life, but death nonetheless. My fear, and what I almost know will happen, is that once that which I seek is obtained my “poet” is lost. I will have become yet another skeleton career at the bottom of poetry’s ocean. I mean I will be one of those people that published a few pieces, did a few performances, sold a few chapbooks and earned a few degrees, but no one will ever know me. I know that poets hold day jobs, but it just feels that way. For every Anme Sexton, Major Jackson. Tracey K. Smith, Emily Dickenson and Seamus Heaney there are thousands just like me who will never know what that sort of recognition, that sort of respect and that kind of purpose feels like. It saddens me.

Yesterday I saw Children of Men again and ironically it seems to fit. After the bombing, Julian tells Theo that the high pitch squeal he’s hearing is the sound of his ear cells dying and after it goes he’ll never hear that frequency again. Perfect right?

Reading Nook

Per my favorite reader JT, I’ve decided to give a brief reading list based off of things on my shelf and things I really enjoyed reading. I’m still working on my summer project, so I will be listing those books as well as I finish them. Enjoy!

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

Another Bullshit Night in Suck City by Nick Flynn

New and Selected Poems 1974-1994 by Stephen Dunn

Winter Stars by Larry Levis

Jelly Roll: A Blues by Kevin Young

Crush by Richard Siken

Opened Ground:Selected Poems 1966-1996 by Seamus Heaney

The Passion by Jeanette Winterson

The Liars Club by Mary Karr

The Collected Poems by Anne Sexton

The Color Purple by Alice Walker

Drinking Coffee Elsewhere by ZZ Packer

Push by Sapphire

Ararat by Louise Gluck

Coffee Will Make You Black by April Sinclair

Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston

Oroonoko by Aphra Behn

Summer Project

On top of my new blog (a fashion one!) I have charged myself with a new summer project. For all intents and purposes, right now it seems I am going to have a lot of time on my hands and will be on a budget this summer.

That being said I’ve been on a book shopping spree. Spurned by a person I admire, I have moved from purchasing books here and there to building my library actively with purchases from large chains and thrift stores. I’ve found some amazing things, but coupled with my lack of pleasure reading during my two years in grad school and my lack of reading anything except student papers this semester, I now have a massive amount of books to get through.

Ah! I remember those days I’d read up to six books at a time and knew everything about them. I need to learn to be quiet like that again. So now onto my grand plan. I plan on finishing at least one (but hopefully upwards of three) book a week until the fall semester starts on September 3rd. I think I can do it (if I can pry myself away from gaming and those addictive judge shows on during the day!)

So I’ll keep a running list here and maybe even do a review or two. It will be interesting to see how much reading I actually get done.

I’m off to a meeting (*sad face*)

The Sonics Wonders of Kick, Push by Lupe Fiasco

Last year when I first heard Kick, Push I was amazed and this entry has been rolling around in my head for the last few incarnations of this blog (all three of them).
I’ll admit I’m a bit of an orchestra nerd. I played cello for many years and it’s still on my wish list of things to get myself. I fell in love with the strings and horns on Kick, Push so much that every time I hear the start of it, I turn up the volume. I get lost in the music of the song. It’s not the lyrics (nothing against them, however). It’s just the music. I had a burned copy on CD in my car and seriously I listened to it on repeat for weeks on end without blinking.

Why did I love it so much? Maybe it reminded me of growing up the daughter of a dj and tapping back into that love of music and feeling like I was a little girl in a basement full of records learning how to use turntables and a mixer for the first time. Maybe it made me realize, I’ve become an “oldhead”, that I miss ATCQ, Leaders of the New School, De La Soul, Pete Rock and CL Smooth, Brand Nubian, LL Cool J, MC Lyte, Kid N Play, Salt N Peppa, Eric B and Rakim, and a whole crew of others. I missed music and Lupe’s song took me back.

I’m listening to it now. I was sitting here writing a lecture of Argumentation and Persuasion essays and it came on random on Sekou (my mp3 player) and it’s now once again on repeat.

So thank you Lupe for opening the floodgates and making me remember how hip hop impacted my life.

Stairsteps

That’s what I’m doing, climbing the heights of my dreams bit by bit. As of tomorrow night I will be teaching for another college here in New Jersey.  The only thing that could make this even better (besides more money) is if I get the diversity faculty fellowship I applied for.